ADLUSTABLEAPEED

Best Chinglish encounter so far: there is a dial on my wall that says ADLUSTABLEAPEED. Below that it says ON/OFF. I was so baffled by this that I stared at it for twenty minutes, terrified if I tried it something involving “adlust” and/or “apeed” would abruptly shoot out from somewhere. I was incredibly proud of myself when I figured out it is the button to my fan, and was meant to read Adjustable Speed.

As an aside, my shower head is broken. This is in a way a relief; I thought I just couldn’t figure it out so fiddled with everything in my apartment for a few hours. For the foreseeable future I will be showering with the help of a bucket and a faucet next to the toilet that stands about a foot and a half off the ground. I am not sure the original intended use of this faucet, but I would guess somewhere along the lines of a bidet in Europe. Oh the things I do for you, China.

For all one of you wondering (Hi Mom!), the cockroach has been captured and disposed of. I pray he doesn’t have family somewhere on the sixth floor calling in reinforcements to avenge his death and try the weird food the waiguoren (foreigner) has in her refrigerator…